Three years ago, before the 2008 election, I wrote a post about how the GOP was dumbing itself down. At the time I thought this puzzling and self-destructive trend had bottomed out. How could the Republican Party stoop any lower on the stupid scale than putting Alaskan Airhead Sarah Palin on the ticket with the senior citizen nominee?

Well, give the Republicans credit for trying, aided by the extreme Tea Party wing. The Tea Partiers are having problems deciding which presidential candidate to support, but they seem to have “unqualified” as the #1 trait. First there was Donald Trump, smart enough to make zillions in real estate deals but dumb enough to believe Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii as his birth certificate proves. Trump is only slightly more qualified than fellow reality TV star Kim Kardashian, and the smartest move of his “campaign” was his decision to drop out.

Next, Michele Bachmann. I wish I knew the average IQ of her congressional district, because in my mind she’d have a hard time winning an election for head dogcatcher in most towns. My favorite Bachmann boner was at a debate when she proclaimed that the US could reduce our national debt by billing Iraq for liberating their country. I guess I was asleep back in 2003 when Iraq sent George W. Bush a request to please bomb and invade us . . . and send us the bill. I could go on and on but fortunately someone created a website “honoring” Bachmann.

As Bachmann dropped like a lead balloon, Rick Perry announced his run at the White House. His poll numbers declined every time he opened his mouth at a debate, capped off by his complete brain freeze, unable to recall the third government agency he wanted to abolish. Aside from the fact that adding tens of thousands of government employees to the ranks of the unemployed is stupid policy, Perry’s latest gaffe revealed himself to be George W. Bush Lite. How this guy got re-elected by Texans again and again reflects poorly on the Texas educational system, no?

And how about Herman Cain? Since I wrote about him 2 weeks ago Cain’s sexual harassment allegations have increased, while his working brain cells apparently have decreased. In addition to totally botching the response to the allegations, and continuing to wander aimlessly through irrelevant primary states, he’s now revealing total ignorance on every topic under the sun from Medicare to Libya to collective bargaining to waterboarding. Oh yeah, and his 9-9-9 plan still makes zero sense. The fact that this buffoon led the GOP polls for weeks shows many Tea Partiers are eager to nominate a man who Michelle Obama could scorch in a debate (if Cain didn’t make a pass at her first).

But as Cain has faded, Newt Gingrich has risen to claim the coveted title of I’m-Not-Mitt-Romney. Gingrich has more gray matter than Bachmann, Perry and Cain combined. In my earlier post about Cain I said I was rooting for him to win the nomination since Obama would clean his clock in the general election. I want to retract that. In a two party system, we can’t afford to have anyone as dumb as Cain get that close to the White House — Palin in 2008 was scary enough.

– Theo Chen